It is only Wednesday but I have already put in about 30 hours at work. I haven't had a single moment to do anything around the house and I feel like I haven't seen Charla all week. Right now, having two incomes is important for my family. Tim was laid off for most of 2009 and 2010, so we have a bit of catching up to do. I still feel guilty though.
This is the last year before Charla enters kindergarten. I'm excited for this milestone but terrified at the same time. Once this year is over there can be no more denying that my baby is a child. I'm sure most of my worries are the garden variety; peers, homework, scheduling. This is nothing I won't be able to handle (until perhaps the teen years, I'll get back to you on that).
Having a child has been both exactly what I thought it would be like and nothing like I thought it would be like. I knew there would be challenges and hard times but I didn't realize how such small stuff had the ability to wind me up. I knew I would love my child but I had no idea the amount of fierce protection I would feel for her. I knew it was my job to help her grow but I had no way of knowing how fast these years would go.
I try to absorb all the good moments as much as possible. On a day to day basis this can be quite tricky. Especially after putting in all that time at work and having another 10 hours to look forward to on Friday. When I get home I'm tired and what I really would like is to sit down and do nothing. However, I know these years don't last forever. The years of "mom, will you play with me?", "mom, push me in the swing", "mom, can you read me a story?", mom, I want to cuddle", "mom, you're my best friend".
Tomorrow I have a day off. Of course I have the plans to vacuum the living room, go to the grocery store, and finally take care of the dishes piling up in the sink. But in between all that I'm going to spend time making some memories with my girl.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
Job Offer
I got a job offer today and for just a minute I was really thinking hard about it. I currently work at the preschool where Charla goes. I like it there. The pay is decent and the cost of Charla's care is drastically reduced. The main problem is I don't have my own room, instead I float around from room to room and help out.
The job offer came from a preschool I used to work at. I liked working there and only left because I found a new job closer to home and with cheaper child care rates. I would seriously take this job offer if it wasn't for Charla. I can't see pulling her out of a school she's been at for the past 2 years, 1 year before she starts kindergarten.
The preschool I currently work at is within what will be Charla's school district, so she will be bused there for after-school care. The job offer comes from a preschool 20 minutes from home, so I would have to figure out something to do with Charla from 3:30 until I get off work.
I know I have to do what is best for the family, but a large part of me does wish I could leave the place I'm currently at and go back to the previous preschool.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Decisions
I've never been overly fond of choices. If someone asks me where I want to go to dinner I'll usually say I don't care. If I'm asked what I want to do during the day I'll say whatever. It's not that I don't care about those things but that I don't want to make the wrong choice.
So, when I was faced with the life-changing decision of having a second child it took me awhile to figure out what I wanted. Charla was conceived in just 3 months, quick and easy. The second time around hasn't worked out that way. I'm not sure what's going on because I've been too scared to make the leap and talk to my OB about it. Today I finally decided to take the bull by the horns and set up a blood test for next week. I think this decision came about because in just 1 more year Charla will be beginning kindergarten. I want another child but if it isn't going to happen naturally, I'll have to help it along a little. I'm going to keep thinking positive thoughts that 2013 will be the year!
Coming to this decision took me almost 2 years. It didn't help that my husband was laid off for about half of that time. It's really hard to imagine bringing a new life into the world when you're struggling to make ends meet. Throw into the mix the extra cash needed for medical assistance and it's enough to make anyone turn and run! I always knew this decision was hanging over my head though.
Each month my period came I would become depressed and crabby. Nothing made me happy and I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. Even non-hormonal days could do that to me if I got to thinking about the unfairness of it all. I figured fate had dealt me this hand as a way of teaching me a lesson. Perhaps I wasn't patient enough with Charla, I was too selfish, I wasn't loving enough or I just wasn't a good parent/person. Obviously none of those thoughts were true, but wanting something badly enough and consistently being told no has a way of getting to you. Some months I would even consider ending it all so I wouldn't have to deal with the disappointment anymore and the only thing that kept me going was Charla.
Now that I've made the decision to pursue having a second child I feel lighter. A weight has been lifted and I have some hope that the next year will bring my family happy things. I need to start learning how to make decisions that will make me happy. Perhaps the last 2 years weren't the best time to have another child, but I really should have sat down and come up with some sort of plan of what the right time would feel like. Then I wouldn't have had to deal with the continued disappointment, frustration and wishful thinking of the last couple years.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
What's Been Going On!
I can't believe it's been 2 years since I last wrote on this blog. So much has happened that I couldn't possibly begin to catch up. It seems like such a long time yet at the same time it seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye.
One of our biggest life changes happened about 6 months ago when I went back to work full time. Charla adjusted to this change relatively quickly and just today she began her last preschool year before kindergarten starts next September. I can't believe that milestone is just around the corner. It excites me and scares me at the same time. I'm excited for all the new challenges Charla will face. All the growing up she will accomplish. But I'm also scared about what entering the school system will mean for her. I have had both positive and negative experiences with public school and I really just want the best for my daughter. But right now I can put those thoughts off to the side and focus on the year ahead.
I'm amazed at how much Charla has come out of her shell over the last year. Before she was always more timid and wouldn't readily approach children her age. Lately though she seems to have gained a lot of confidence and easily joins in with the other kids on the playground. Due to her May birthday she will be one of the younger kids in her class. This means academically she has a bit of catching up to do. She has just begun to print her name but the letters are still all over and some are upside down. She can identify many uppercase letters but needs to work on the lowercase. She can count up to 14 without any mistakes but often skips a few numbers after that. She has just begun identifying the numbers 1 to 6 when we play games, such as Trouble.
I'm so proud of her though and I try to express that to her on a daily basis. She is such a friendly girl. Quick to open her heart to people and animals. She has a very good stand on what is right and wrong and I've been told that she is one of the most well-behaved children in her class. She can express herself very well and her sense of humor is in full bloom. Including all the age-appropriate bathroom humor. Her favorite joke today was "knock knock", "who's there?", "diaper", "diaper who?", "poopy diaper"! I can't help but laugh along with her.
The one downfall of my going back to work has been the amount of time I've lost. On one hand I loved spending all day, every day with Charla. On the other hand though, we were driving each other nuts. Still, losing out on 40 hours per week with my girl has taken its toll. I would love to say that I spend each moment I have with her doing quality things. The sad truth is though that I'm often so tired at night from working all day that our quality time involves curling up on the couch and watching some tv. Some days are obviously better than others, but the mommy guilt still kicks in pretty often. I've really had to choose what's more important to me, a clean house or some quality time with my family. The house loses more often than not!
This started out as a mom blog and, while I definitely plan on telling many Charla stories, I also want to use it as a place to vent some of my thoughts and feelings. Lately I've been feeling a bit run down. I'm not sure if it's from working or from parenting or just some run-of-the-mill blues, but I think it would do me good to type my thoughts out. Sometimes I get an "aha" moment while I'm thinking to myself. Yesterday was one of those "blah" days and after thinking about what could be wrong I came to the conclusion that I often get that way after visits with my family. I will talk more about this another day though. Right now it's late, I'm tired and I have a 10 hour day looming before me tomorrow. Thankfully after tomorrow I have Thursday off and I want to spend that day doing something fun both with Charla and for myself!
One of our biggest life changes happened about 6 months ago when I went back to work full time. Charla adjusted to this change relatively quickly and just today she began her last preschool year before kindergarten starts next September. I can't believe that milestone is just around the corner. It excites me and scares me at the same time. I'm excited for all the new challenges Charla will face. All the growing up she will accomplish. But I'm also scared about what entering the school system will mean for her. I have had both positive and negative experiences with public school and I really just want the best for my daughter. But right now I can put those thoughts off to the side and focus on the year ahead.
I'm amazed at how much Charla has come out of her shell over the last year. Before she was always more timid and wouldn't readily approach children her age. Lately though she seems to have gained a lot of confidence and easily joins in with the other kids on the playground. Due to her May birthday she will be one of the younger kids in her class. This means academically she has a bit of catching up to do. She has just begun to print her name but the letters are still all over and some are upside down. She can identify many uppercase letters but needs to work on the lowercase. She can count up to 14 without any mistakes but often skips a few numbers after that. She has just begun identifying the numbers 1 to 6 when we play games, such as Trouble.
I'm so proud of her though and I try to express that to her on a daily basis. She is such a friendly girl. Quick to open her heart to people and animals. She has a very good stand on what is right and wrong and I've been told that she is one of the most well-behaved children in her class. She can express herself very well and her sense of humor is in full bloom. Including all the age-appropriate bathroom humor. Her favorite joke today was "knock knock", "who's there?", "diaper", "diaper who?", "poopy diaper"! I can't help but laugh along with her.
The one downfall of my going back to work has been the amount of time I've lost. On one hand I loved spending all day, every day with Charla. On the other hand though, we were driving each other nuts. Still, losing out on 40 hours per week with my girl has taken its toll. I would love to say that I spend each moment I have with her doing quality things. The sad truth is though that I'm often so tired at night from working all day that our quality time involves curling up on the couch and watching some tv. Some days are obviously better than others, but the mommy guilt still kicks in pretty often. I've really had to choose what's more important to me, a clean house or some quality time with my family. The house loses more often than not!
This started out as a mom blog and, while I definitely plan on telling many Charla stories, I also want to use it as a place to vent some of my thoughts and feelings. Lately I've been feeling a bit run down. I'm not sure if it's from working or from parenting or just some run-of-the-mill blues, but I think it would do me good to type my thoughts out. Sometimes I get an "aha" moment while I'm thinking to myself. Yesterday was one of those "blah" days and after thinking about what could be wrong I came to the conclusion that I often get that way after visits with my family. I will talk more about this another day though. Right now it's late, I'm tired and I have a 10 hour day looming before me tomorrow. Thankfully after tomorrow I have Thursday off and I want to spend that day doing something fun both with Charla and for myself!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Gonna Get Away
I am really looking forward to this weekend. My husband, Charla and I are going to go on a long weekend vacation with my parents, my brother and my sister-in-law. This will be our first vacation as a family! It will also be the first time Charla's slept over night somewhere besides her bedroom. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things will work out okay but I may need a vacation after this vacation!
Yesterday I was looking for a boarding kennel for our dog to stay at. I am amazed at all the luxury kennels out there! Seriously, kennels had swimming pools, televisions, stereos and privacy walls. My dog just needs food, water and a place to relieve herself! I did end up finding a good kennel at a fraction of the price because guess what?! There weren't any unnecessary accommodations! I know some people treat their dogs as their kids, and I'm not knocking that. But to me, my dog is my dog, she's a member of the family and deserves comfort but that doesn't mean a television in her kennel.
Preschool has been going really well for Charla so far. Every afternoon when I pick her up, she tells me that she had fun. Then she'll tell me a little about what she did. Usually she says she played with the little ponies and the drums! My sister-in-law is a teacher in Charla's room and she's been telling me all about the cool stuff Charla's been doing. I guess she's starting to make friends with some of the other kids. She's talking a lot (this doesn't surprise me!) and knows almost all of her shapes and colors. She still cries a little when I drop her off in the morning, but she's done before I've even walked out the door. Right now she's only going twice per week but I might increase that to 3 times per week in the winter depending on how bored she is at home.
My husband, who has been laid off since early November, finally got a job. However it's only temporary. It was supposed to last 9 weeks but it looks like it's going to take even less time than that. The construction industry just isn't good right now. Hopefully next spring things will start picking up. In the meantime we've been trying to make the most of his being home. In the end of October he'll probably be running out of unemployment. I could write an entire post ranting about the unfairness of this but I'm not even going to go there. The only thing I will say is that so many politicians seem to think my husband must be lazy to have been out of work for so long. That is not the case at all. Open your eyes, there's no work! End rant.
Yesterday I was looking for a boarding kennel for our dog to stay at. I am amazed at all the luxury kennels out there! Seriously, kennels had swimming pools, televisions, stereos and privacy walls. My dog just needs food, water and a place to relieve herself! I did end up finding a good kennel at a fraction of the price because guess what?! There weren't any unnecessary accommodations! I know some people treat their dogs as their kids, and I'm not knocking that. But to me, my dog is my dog, she's a member of the family and deserves comfort but that doesn't mean a television in her kennel.
Preschool has been going really well for Charla so far. Every afternoon when I pick her up, she tells me that she had fun. Then she'll tell me a little about what she did. Usually she says she played with the little ponies and the drums! My sister-in-law is a teacher in Charla's room and she's been telling me all about the cool stuff Charla's been doing. I guess she's starting to make friends with some of the other kids. She's talking a lot (this doesn't surprise me!) and knows almost all of her shapes and colors. She still cries a little when I drop her off in the morning, but she's done before I've even walked out the door. Right now she's only going twice per week but I might increase that to 3 times per week in the winter depending on how bored she is at home.
My husband, who has been laid off since early November, finally got a job. However it's only temporary. It was supposed to last 9 weeks but it looks like it's going to take even less time than that. The construction industry just isn't good right now. Hopefully next spring things will start picking up. In the meantime we've been trying to make the most of his being home. In the end of October he'll probably be running out of unemployment. I could write an entire post ranting about the unfairness of this but I'm not even going to go there. The only thing I will say is that so many politicians seem to think my husband must be lazy to have been out of work for so long. That is not the case at all. Open your eyes, there's no work! End rant.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Just Can't Decide!
I think we have now entered the "terrible two" stage! Of course, things aren't terrible all the time, there's plenty of terrific moments as well. I love hearing all the new words and phrases Charla comes up with on a daily basis. I enjoy watching her try new things for herself and telling me that she will "do self". The problem enters in the form of indecision and dissatisfaction of an outcome.
Many child experts say to give your child choices. This way they feel in charge of their life to a certain extent and will hopefully be more cooperative. However, this is how choices around here are working:
Me: Do you want cereal or oatmeal for breakfast?
Charla: Oatmeal.
Me: Ok, I will make you oatmeal. (Getting her bowl down to mix her oatmeal.)
Charla: No, cereal.
Me: Last time, do you want cereal or oatmeal?
Charla: Cereal
This seems to be what happens with every option I give her. Sometimes she will even throw a fit because she said one thing but really wanted another. I have gotten to the point that I will let her change her mind once. After that though, she needs to stick with her decision!
She's also starting to cut back on her sleep, but I'm not sure she's ready to. By the afternoon the indecision starts getting even worse, to the point that she's telling me she doesn't want to eat dinner when I know for a fact she's hungry! I try telling myself this is only a phase, but it's not working because life is basically one big phase and when this one is over it will be time for a new one!
Many child experts say to give your child choices. This way they feel in charge of their life to a certain extent and will hopefully be more cooperative. However, this is how choices around here are working:
Me: Do you want cereal or oatmeal for breakfast?
Charla: Oatmeal.
Me: Ok, I will make you oatmeal. (Getting her bowl down to mix her oatmeal.)
Charla: No, cereal.
Me: Last time, do you want cereal or oatmeal?
Charla: Cereal
This seems to be what happens with every option I give her. Sometimes she will even throw a fit because she said one thing but really wanted another. I have gotten to the point that I will let her change her mind once. After that though, she needs to stick with her decision!
She's also starting to cut back on her sleep, but I'm not sure she's ready to. By the afternoon the indecision starts getting even worse, to the point that she's telling me she doesn't want to eat dinner when I know for a fact she's hungry! I try telling myself this is only a phase, but it's not working because life is basically one big phase and when this one is over it will be time for a new one!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Busy!
We had a busy weekend and this week is going to be pretty busy as well. On Saturday my husband, Charla and I went to a Pirate Festival. Charla got to see a pirate ship, watch cannons go off and listen to a guitar player sing some songs. She had a great time. There was a huge blow up bouncy house/slide thing that she really wanted to try out, but I thought it would probably be better if she waited until next year.
This morning we went out to brunch with my brother and sister-in-law. I haven't gone to a brunch in a long time and it was really good. Charla had a great time and seemed to enjoy the food. Afterwards, we went to a really overpriced sporting goods store to buy a net. My husband wants to take Charla to a pond and do some frog catching, so she was really excited.
Tomorrow will be Charla's first day in preschool! We decided she needed to start socializing with other kids a bit more so signed her up for 2 mornings per week. My sister-in-law is an assistant director/teacher in a preschool/day care nearby so that is the one Charla will be attending. I'm a bit nervous about how this is going to go. She has been going through a bit of separation anxiety lately, but I'm hoping the worst of that is over. It will help that her aunt will be a teacher in her room.
I'm looking forward to some quiet mornings, but I'm also going to miss Charla. I have a feeling drop off is going to be hard tomorrow, for both of us. I've been talking about school with Charla and she seems excited but I know when the time comes she's going to be nervous and wondering what's going on. I just hope that after the initial sadness/fear she'll dive in and have fun.
This morning we went out to brunch with my brother and sister-in-law. I haven't gone to a brunch in a long time and it was really good. Charla had a great time and seemed to enjoy the food. Afterwards, we went to a really overpriced sporting goods store to buy a net. My husband wants to take Charla to a pond and do some frog catching, so she was really excited.
Tomorrow will be Charla's first day in preschool! We decided she needed to start socializing with other kids a bit more so signed her up for 2 mornings per week. My sister-in-law is an assistant director/teacher in a preschool/day care nearby so that is the one Charla will be attending. I'm a bit nervous about how this is going to go. She has been going through a bit of separation anxiety lately, but I'm hoping the worst of that is over. It will help that her aunt will be a teacher in her room.
I'm looking forward to some quiet mornings, but I'm also going to miss Charla. I have a feeling drop off is going to be hard tomorrow, for both of us. I've been talking about school with Charla and she seems excited but I know when the time comes she's going to be nervous and wondering what's going on. I just hope that after the initial sadness/fear she'll dive in and have fun.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Random Thoughts
Lately I've been feeling like I need to do something with my life other than being a mom. I love staying home with my daughter, but I feel so isolated. I've been missing my pre-child life. Don't get me wrong, I love Charla to pieces but I've been feeling trapped. There are a few things I wish I had done differently. I should have waited to get married. Perhaps I should have even waited to have a baby. I miss going out on weekends, random car trips and sleeping in. I miss my body before having a baby. Now I just feel old and out of touch with the world and I'm only 26!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Fun In the Sun!
Today was another beautiful day. Our spring so far this year has been absolutely wonderful. It's been great being able to get outside with Charla basically every day. This morning was a little breezy but she still got out to play in her sandbox. Later on the breeze stopped and we got outside again. Hubby hung her swing up and we finally managed to convince her to try it out. We started out by having her push her stuffed moose and telling her how much fun Moosey was having!
We had a play date last Saturday with someone I knew from high school and her family. They have a son 5 months younger than Charla. It was so adorable watching them give each other hugs and kisses. We walked to a nearby park and flew a kite. Charla got a huge kick out of that and is still talking about it! Then the kids played in our backyard while we grilled out. At first Charla wasn't too sure about having to share her sandbox and balls, but she got over that pretty quick. The next morning when we went outside all she talked about was how good of a sharer she was with her friend. Hubby and I are going to look into some part time daycare so she will get more opportunities to socialize. I take her to a playgroup, but I think some time away from mommy will do her a bit of good too.
Tomorrow I get to take 2 cats and our dog to the vet. They are all due shots, especially the dog who will get boarded in June when we go on vacation. One of our cats also needs to have her teeth looked at. She's always had bad teeth, but now one is red and swollen. Not sure if she's going to need antibiotics or have it pulled. Financially we can't afford that right now. I know, I know, if you own pets you have to be able to take care of them. However, we weren't planning on having my husband laid off for almost 2 years now, so money is pretty tight. Hopefully a round of antibiotics will do the trick and the tooth will fall out on its own.
We had a play date last Saturday with someone I knew from high school and her family. They have a son 5 months younger than Charla. It was so adorable watching them give each other hugs and kisses. We walked to a nearby park and flew a kite. Charla got a huge kick out of that and is still talking about it! Then the kids played in our backyard while we grilled out. At first Charla wasn't too sure about having to share her sandbox and balls, but she got over that pretty quick. The next morning when we went outside all she talked about was how good of a sharer she was with her friend. Hubby and I are going to look into some part time daycare so she will get more opportunities to socialize. I take her to a playgroup, but I think some time away from mommy will do her a bit of good too.
Tomorrow I get to take 2 cats and our dog to the vet. They are all due shots, especially the dog who will get boarded in June when we go on vacation. One of our cats also needs to have her teeth looked at. She's always had bad teeth, but now one is red and swollen. Not sure if she's going to need antibiotics or have it pulled. Financially we can't afford that right now. I know, I know, if you own pets you have to be able to take care of them. However, we weren't planning on having my husband laid off for almost 2 years now, so money is pretty tight. Hopefully a round of antibiotics will do the trick and the tooth will fall out on its own.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Keep on Going
My husband and I continue trying for a second baby. This was only the 4th month of trying so I really can't complain and who knows, maybe it worked this time! We were sort of on the fence about trying this month because my due date will be Christmas Eve. So of course this will be the month I get pregnant just because that's how fate works.
My big concern was how to deal with separating a birthday from a major family holiday without causing issues for either of my children. I was worried that Charla would be mad that her little brother or sister would be getting more gifts than her. I was worried that the second child would feel like attention was taken away from his/her birthday. I was worried about possibly having to spend next Christmas in the hospital. I don't have everything figured out, but I think a lot of my fears have been put to rest.
If this is the way life goes, I now realize I have options regarding the way I want to deal with things. When my proverbial second child is old enough to want a birthday party, I can have it during June as a half birthday party. Charla's jealousy's will have to be dealt with by honesty, this is the way life is, she gets gifts on her birthday as well. And spending one holiday in the hospital won't be the end of the world. I sort of think a baby brother or sister is the best Christmas present I could give to Charla.
So we continue trying, crossing our fingers that one of these months will be our month to celebrate.
My big concern was how to deal with separating a birthday from a major family holiday without causing issues for either of my children. I was worried that Charla would be mad that her little brother or sister would be getting more gifts than her. I was worried that the second child would feel like attention was taken away from his/her birthday. I was worried about possibly having to spend next Christmas in the hospital. I don't have everything figured out, but I think a lot of my fears have been put to rest.
If this is the way life goes, I now realize I have options regarding the way I want to deal with things. When my proverbial second child is old enough to want a birthday party, I can have it during June as a half birthday party. Charla's jealousy's will have to be dealt with by honesty, this is the way life is, she gets gifts on her birthday as well. And spending one holiday in the hospital won't be the end of the world. I sort of think a baby brother or sister is the best Christmas present I could give to Charla.
So we continue trying, crossing our fingers that one of these months will be our month to celebrate.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Second Easter
Our second Easter as a family has been great so far. When Charla woke up she found her Easter basket sitting on the kitchen table. The Easter bunny had brought her a stuffed rabbit, a chocolate rabbit, M&M's and some mini Kit Kats. She was thrilled!
For breakfast I made homemade pancakes, fresh strawberries and, of course, hard boiled eggs. We had dyed the eggs yesterday but I'm not sure if she remembered that they were the same ones or not. She didn't really care, she kept asking for chocolate! She loved the fresh strawberries though, I was sort of surprised because last summer she didn't care for them much.
After she's done napping, we're heading over to my Aunt and Uncle's house for Easter dinner where I'm sure she'll be spoiled rotten. My mom has already told me some of the things she bought Charla and you would think it was Christmas all over again! What I love about my parent's though is that, even though they do buy her a lot of things, nothing is over the top and it's not always toys. My mom made her up a little Easter basket of crackers and some candy, got her a Dora The Explorer sand pail and a princess beach towel for this summer.
I had found a cute Easter dress a month ago that will double as a birthday dress. That's the nice thing about this holiday being so close to her birthday. I can't believe she's going to turn 2 next month. Where does the time go?!
For breakfast I made homemade pancakes, fresh strawberries and, of course, hard boiled eggs. We had dyed the eggs yesterday but I'm not sure if she remembered that they were the same ones or not. She didn't really care, she kept asking for chocolate! She loved the fresh strawberries though, I was sort of surprised because last summer she didn't care for them much.
After she's done napping, we're heading over to my Aunt and Uncle's house for Easter dinner where I'm sure she'll be spoiled rotten. My mom has already told me some of the things she bought Charla and you would think it was Christmas all over again! What I love about my parent's though is that, even though they do buy her a lot of things, nothing is over the top and it's not always toys. My mom made her up a little Easter basket of crackers and some candy, got her a Dora The Explorer sand pail and a princess beach towel for this summer.
I had found a cute Easter dress a month ago that will double as a birthday dress. That's the nice thing about this holiday being so close to her birthday. I can't believe she's going to turn 2 next month. Where does the time go?!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Torture With Footwear
The last few days have been beautiful. Above seasonal temps, sun and lots of outdoor fun. I've been taking Charla to the park, going for walks and playing in the sandbox. Last summer her favorite thing was swinging, this year though she's not enjoying it much. On our first trip to a park she saw the swings and wanted to go in. So I put her in and started pushing her, thinking she was going to have a blast with it the same as last year. However, as soon as the swing started going, she freaked out. She shook, gasped, tried to catch her breath; poor girl was terrified. My husband was going to build her a swing set for her birthday, but I think we're going to go with a tricycle instead for now!
We also had a surprise about the fact that she no longer liked sandals. I put them on her for the first time on Thursday and she screamed. Did not want them on her feet, refused to walk with them on, so I put her shoes on her instead. On Friday I gave it another try. She let me put them on her feet but then wanted them off right away. I persisted though and tried to encourage her to stand up and walk. Finally, after about 15 minutes, she stood up and took a few steps. I let her walk around the house a bit to get used to them before taking her outside. As she was crossing the kitchen towards the backdoor, walking like those were her first steps, she turned to me, gave me a shaky smile and said, "no crying". I was so proud of her for doing something she was unsure of doing and gave her a big hug.
I know her personality tends more towards caution. I've come to expect her to need a few minutes to get used to the idea of something new and perhaps even shed a few tears before she gets the courage to go ahead. However, each and every time she tries, I feel a strong surge of pride. That's my baby girl, overcoming her fears and learning something new!
We also had a surprise about the fact that she no longer liked sandals. I put them on her for the first time on Thursday and she screamed. Did not want them on her feet, refused to walk with them on, so I put her shoes on her instead. On Friday I gave it another try. She let me put them on her feet but then wanted them off right away. I persisted though and tried to encourage her to stand up and walk. Finally, after about 15 minutes, she stood up and took a few steps. I let her walk around the house a bit to get used to them before taking her outside. As she was crossing the kitchen towards the backdoor, walking like those were her first steps, she turned to me, gave me a shaky smile and said, "no crying". I was so proud of her for doing something she was unsure of doing and gave her a big hug.
I know her personality tends more towards caution. I've come to expect her to need a few minutes to get used to the idea of something new and perhaps even shed a few tears before she gets the courage to go ahead. However, each and every time she tries, I feel a strong surge of pride. That's my baby girl, overcoming her fears and learning something new!
Monday, March 15, 2010
No Sleep Zone
Over the last month there have been more and more days that Charla will talk to herself for 1 hour instead of fall asleep. I always get her up after about 1 hour because I figure if she hasn't fallen asleep yet, she probably won't. Usually, if she skips a nap one day, the next day she'll take a nice 1.5-2hr nap. However, after taking a nice nap, the following morning she's awake earlier than normal. I've always left bedtime at a consistent 8pm. I think she's normally asleep by about 8:15pm.
Yesterday, despite the daylight savings switch, I decided to keep nap time and bedtime at the same times (1pm and 8pm) because I like those times. She finally fell asleep at 2:15pm for nap and slept for 30 minutes. However, at bedtime she didn't fall asleep until about 8:40pm! She just kept talking to her blankies, "Oh, Key! Hi!" like, "Fancy meeting you here in this crib of mine"!
So, this morning she didn't wake up until 8am (LOVED that!) but she has now talked through an entire nap, for the second day in a row (can you really count a 30min snooze as a nap?)! It's almost 2pm and then I'm going to go get her up. This is craziness but I'm actually excited/relieved to be faced with the end of nap. I have always hated planning my life around her nap schedule. I've been religious about it for the last year because I know she needs her sleep but the fact that the days of counting down how much time I have before I need to get her home or hauling a pack n play to grandma's because we're going to be there during nap time are numbered, is so freeing!
I'm going to keep putting her in her crib around the same time every day for her 1 hour chat sessions. If she sleeps she sleeps if not, oh well. She's never crabby because of it and I'm thankful for that!
Yesterday, despite the daylight savings switch, I decided to keep nap time and bedtime at the same times (1pm and 8pm) because I like those times. She finally fell asleep at 2:15pm for nap and slept for 30 minutes. However, at bedtime she didn't fall asleep until about 8:40pm! She just kept talking to her blankies, "Oh, Key! Hi!" like, "Fancy meeting you here in this crib of mine"!
So, this morning she didn't wake up until 8am (LOVED that!) but she has now talked through an entire nap, for the second day in a row (can you really count a 30min snooze as a nap?)! It's almost 2pm and then I'm going to go get her up. This is craziness but I'm actually excited/relieved to be faced with the end of nap. I have always hated planning my life around her nap schedule. I've been religious about it for the last year because I know she needs her sleep but the fact that the days of counting down how much time I have before I need to get her home or hauling a pack n play to grandma's because we're going to be there during nap time are numbered, is so freeing!
I'm going to keep putting her in her crib around the same time every day for her 1 hour chat sessions. If she sleeps she sleeps if not, oh well. She's never crabby because of it and I'm thankful for that!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Spring!
The weather here has been gorgeous lately! I have been taking Charla outside as much as possible. We've been going for walks (sometimes 2-3 per day!), playing ball and she's been riding her bike around. My husband is going to be building her a swing set in the next week or 2. Last summer, swinging was her most favorite outdoor thing to do. I'm also hoping to take her to a park sometime this week.
Walks this year are so much different than they were last summer. This year she can walk all the way around the block without having to go in the stroller. Her favorite things to point out are pine cones and dog poop. She likes to talk about puddles, planes and buses as we walk. Whenever we pass by a puppy she will say, "hi puppy". When we first start out on a walk she will take the lead. Soon though she will get side tracked. She stops to explore the grass, trees, rocks and whatever else catches her eye. Most of the time I'm not in a hurry and will allow her the time she needs to explore. I love watching her take everything in!
Today, Charla turned 22 months old. When I look at her, I can still see the tiny baby I brought home from the hospital almost 2 years ago. However, now I can also see the little girl she is turning into. She is learning and doing something new every day. Her imaginative play has started to shine through and she makes me smile every time I see her giving her baby doll a kiss, putting her dollhouse dolls to bed or making her farm animals eat their hay. I am so excited to watch her grow and meet milestones. A small part of me though wants to rewind time. I want to hold her tiny body again and stroke her silky hair, breathe in her baby smell.
A few months ago I had the opportunity to hold a little baby. My sister-in-law asked me if holding him made me miss holding Charla. This question made me think because as much as I enjoyed holding him, he curled into me different than she did, he smelled different than she did and I honestly felt a bit awkward holding him. So yes, holding him did make me miss Charla because I know I will never again have the opportunity to hold her in that way. Time goes too fast sometimes.
Walks this year are so much different than they were last summer. This year she can walk all the way around the block without having to go in the stroller. Her favorite things to point out are pine cones and dog poop. She likes to talk about puddles, planes and buses as we walk. Whenever we pass by a puppy she will say, "hi puppy". When we first start out on a walk she will take the lead. Soon though she will get side tracked. She stops to explore the grass, trees, rocks and whatever else catches her eye. Most of the time I'm not in a hurry and will allow her the time she needs to explore. I love watching her take everything in!
Today, Charla turned 22 months old. When I look at her, I can still see the tiny baby I brought home from the hospital almost 2 years ago. However, now I can also see the little girl she is turning into. She is learning and doing something new every day. Her imaginative play has started to shine through and she makes me smile every time I see her giving her baby doll a kiss, putting her dollhouse dolls to bed or making her farm animals eat their hay. I am so excited to watch her grow and meet milestones. A small part of me though wants to rewind time. I want to hold her tiny body again and stroke her silky hair, breathe in her baby smell.
A few months ago I had the opportunity to hold a little baby. My sister-in-law asked me if holding him made me miss holding Charla. This question made me think because as much as I enjoyed holding him, he curled into me different than she did, he smelled different than she did and I honestly felt a bit awkward holding him. So yes, holding him did make me miss Charla because I know I will never again have the opportunity to hold her in that way. Time goes too fast sometimes.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
A New Phase!
The last week has been fairly exhausting due to Charla's new phase. I don't know how much of a "phase" this is versus our new way of life. She now narrates everything that she or someone else is doing. The thing is, she doesn't have a strong ability to string more than 2 words together so her narration sounds like this:
"Shoes. Shoes. Mama shoes. On. On. On. Mama. Shoes." This would be an example of when I'm putting her shoes on! Once her shoes are on and we're getting in the car, "Car. Sit. Songs. Songs. On. Walmart?" We don't even go to Walmart that much but it seems to have made her list of favorite stores because every time we get in the car she's either asking to go to Papa's house or Walmart!
Another new not so pleasant part of this phase is the fact that she asks over and over again for something even when the answer is no. Right now she's on a TV kick. This is not something I want to encourage so I limit her screen time to around 1 hour per day. However, she has 2 favorite movies that she wants to watch ALL the TIME. If she asks and the answer is no, this has brought on quite a handful of tantrums in the last couple weeks. Part of me wonders if it's worth the battle. After all, it's winter in Wisconsin, not much else to do around here than watch TV. But I don't want the TV habit to become all consuming and hard to break when the weather gets nice.
"Shoes. Shoes. Mama shoes. On. On. On. Mama. Shoes." This would be an example of when I'm putting her shoes on! Once her shoes are on and we're getting in the car, "Car. Sit. Songs. Songs. On. Walmart?" We don't even go to Walmart that much but it seems to have made her list of favorite stores because every time we get in the car she's either asking to go to Papa's house or Walmart!
Another new not so pleasant part of this phase is the fact that she asks over and over again for something even when the answer is no. Right now she's on a TV kick. This is not something I want to encourage so I limit her screen time to around 1 hour per day. However, she has 2 favorite movies that she wants to watch ALL the TIME. If she asks and the answer is no, this has brought on quite a handful of tantrums in the last couple weeks. Part of me wonders if it's worth the battle. After all, it's winter in Wisconsin, not much else to do around here than watch TV. But I don't want the TV habit to become all consuming and hard to break when the weather gets nice.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Lazy Days
The last two days I have been so lazy!
Friday I woke up with Charla, fed her breakfast and then my husband suggested we take turns napping. So, I went back to bed at about 9am and stayed there until 11:20am! It was bliss. Today hasn't been as blissful because I'm full of the negative laziness. The "I-just-don't-want-to-do-anything" laziness. I finally unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, but besides that I haven't done anything.
Charla was in an annoying mood all day today. If she wasn't getting someone's full attention she would get into something so someone would have to give her attention. Poking at the DVD player, turning the TV on and off, rocking her chair into the wall repeatedly, all annoying attempts at getting someone to notice her.
Nap time was wonderful but just too short for a day like today. I personally like the idea of putting a power button on kids, then I could turn her off for about 3hrs while I veg on the couch. I did get her outside for a walk, played ring around the rosie until I was dizzy, blew bubbles and had her talk with her "Papa's" on the webcam.
No news on my possible pregnancy. I got a negative test on Friday morning but that doesn't surprise me. I was REALLY late before getting a positive when I was pregnant with Charla. Pregnancy test kits just don't like me.
Friday I woke up with Charla, fed her breakfast and then my husband suggested we take turns napping. So, I went back to bed at about 9am and stayed there until 11:20am! It was bliss. Today hasn't been as blissful because I'm full of the negative laziness. The "I-just-don't-want-to-do-anything" laziness. I finally unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, but besides that I haven't done anything.
Charla was in an annoying mood all day today. If she wasn't getting someone's full attention she would get into something so someone would have to give her attention. Poking at the DVD player, turning the TV on and off, rocking her chair into the wall repeatedly, all annoying attempts at getting someone to notice her.
Nap time was wonderful but just too short for a day like today. I personally like the idea of putting a power button on kids, then I could turn her off for about 3hrs while I veg on the couch. I did get her outside for a walk, played ring around the rosie until I was dizzy, blew bubbles and had her talk with her "Papa's" on the webcam.
No news on my possible pregnancy. I got a negative test on Friday morning but that doesn't surprise me. I was REALLY late before getting a positive when I was pregnant with Charla. Pregnancy test kits just don't like me.
Friday, January 29, 2010
I wish
I really want to move. I'm tired of the cold and snow. Tired of listening to weathermen predict another colder than normal spring or snowier than normal winter. I want to live somewhere warm. Somewhere tank tops and shorts make a year long appearance.
I'm also bored with the monotony of the cold Wisconsin weather. There is nowhere to go, there is nothing to do. Last night my husband blew bubbles outside in 3F and we watched them bounce around on the pavement. This is the highlight of my life.
I want to move somewhere warm, fast paced and fun.
I'm also bored with the monotony of the cold Wisconsin weather. There is nowhere to go, there is nothing to do. Last night my husband blew bubbles outside in 3F and we watched them bounce around on the pavement. This is the highlight of my life.
I want to move somewhere warm, fast paced and fun.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
How play has changed
When Charla was younger things like shaking rattles over her face or playing peek a boo were a big hit. These things were fun and exciting for her but for me this was rather boring. Yes, it was fun to watch my child enjoy herself and learn but after a few months I was ready for a change!
Charla didn't start crawling until she was 11 months old. So, her play was limited to what was immediately within her reach. Her toys became a little more amusing to me in the fact that they did more things. Sometimes she would figure out what a toy did before me! Play was still very basic for her though.
Last summer she learned to walk and crawl all within about 2.5 months, so life's pace picked up quickly! In the warm weather, play turned into going for walks, swinging on swings and digging in the sand box. Summer was a very enjoyable time for both of us.
In fall, as winter was looming ahead of us, I wondered what we do for these long 4 months of snow and cold. I shouldn't have worried. As she is approaching 2 years, her play is both imaginative and fun for both of us! In her kitchen she will make me food and bring me a cup of "water". Her animals in the farm run, eat, sleep and drink water. Her dollhouse's doorbell is constantly ringing, the baby loves "swinging" and the doll's sit at the table to eat. The thoughts and words that come out of her mouth surprise me sometimes.
I'm excited both for what she's doing now and for what she will do in the future. I can't wait to see her first drawing of her family, to play her first board game with her and to find out if she's going to be a gymnast or a ballerina (or maybe a soccer player)!
Charla didn't start crawling until she was 11 months old. So, her play was limited to what was immediately within her reach. Her toys became a little more amusing to me in the fact that they did more things. Sometimes she would figure out what a toy did before me! Play was still very basic for her though.
Last summer she learned to walk and crawl all within about 2.5 months, so life's pace picked up quickly! In the warm weather, play turned into going for walks, swinging on swings and digging in the sand box. Summer was a very enjoyable time for both of us.
In fall, as winter was looming ahead of us, I wondered what we do for these long 4 months of snow and cold. I shouldn't have worried. As she is approaching 2 years, her play is both imaginative and fun for both of us! In her kitchen she will make me food and bring me a cup of "water". Her animals in the farm run, eat, sleep and drink water. Her dollhouse's doorbell is constantly ringing, the baby loves "swinging" and the doll's sit at the table to eat. The thoughts and words that come out of her mouth surprise me sometimes.
I'm excited both for what she's doing now and for what she will do in the future. I can't wait to see her first drawing of her family, to play her first board game with her and to find out if she's going to be a gymnast or a ballerina (or maybe a soccer player)!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Mixed Feelings
I still haven't taken a pregnancy test. I've been toying with the idea of taking one tomorrow, but I'm so torn. There are still symptoms of possible pregnancy and I'm now 1-2 days late, so the chances of my being pregnant are getting better and better. Why am I not testing? This is something I've thought a lot about today.
This would be a planned pregnancy, my being pregnant should not take me by surprise. However, I think talking about having a second child and the reality of actually having a second child were somewhat divided in my head. I'm both excited for the possibility and terrified at the same time. This is why I'm not testing. Right now I'm in a place where everything is the same as it's always been. I don't have to think about being pregnant and I don't have to think about if I want to continue trying.
I think I'm going to wait until Friday to test.
This would be a planned pregnancy, my being pregnant should not take me by surprise. However, I think talking about having a second child and the reality of actually having a second child were somewhat divided in my head. I'm both excited for the possibility and terrified at the same time. This is why I'm not testing. Right now I'm in a place where everything is the same as it's always been. I don't have to think about being pregnant and I don't have to think about if I want to continue trying.
I think I'm going to wait until Friday to test.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Baby sling
I didn't know about baby slings when I got pregnant with Charla. By the time I discovered what they were, I already had a baby backpack. I've just spent the last 10 minutes browsing through different sites looking at all the super neat baby slings. The thing is, they are SO expensive! Maybe I'm not looking at the right sites but $50 for a piece of fabric?! So I think I'm going to try to make my own. I've enlisted my husbands help, which may or may not be a good thing!
There are other cool baby items I want to try out this time around too. Like the mesh bathtub seat and a delux pack n play. The pack n play will actually double as a crib for the first........2? years of life! We live in a 2 bdrm condo so space is going to be a bit tight. Hopefully my second child won't hold a grudge that Charla got a nice crib turned toddler bed and he/she got a pack n play!
The other thing I really want to do this time around is breastfeed. I had tried with Charla but neither of us were getting the hang of it and after a week I switched to formula. I had thought I was going back to work so it would be easier to formula feed but then I ended up not going back to work and wishing I had spent more time with breastfeeding. So, no regrets this time! I'm not a nervous first-time mom so I think I'll manage.
I haven't actually gotten a positive test yet because I haven't taken a test! I'm too nervous. I "feel" like I am and will work up the nerves to test later this week!
There are other cool baby items I want to try out this time around too. Like the mesh bathtub seat and a delux pack n play. The pack n play will actually double as a crib for the first........2? years of life! We live in a 2 bdrm condo so space is going to be a bit tight. Hopefully my second child won't hold a grudge that Charla got a nice crib turned toddler bed and he/she got a pack n play!
The other thing I really want to do this time around is breastfeed. I had tried with Charla but neither of us were getting the hang of it and after a week I switched to formula. I had thought I was going back to work so it would be easier to formula feed but then I ended up not going back to work and wishing I had spent more time with breastfeeding. So, no regrets this time! I'm not a nervous first-time mom so I think I'll manage.
I haven't actually gotten a positive test yet because I haven't taken a test! I'm too nervous. I "feel" like I am and will work up the nerves to test later this week!
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