It is only Wednesday but I have already put in about 30 hours at work. I haven't had a single moment to do anything around the house and I feel like I haven't seen Charla all week. Right now, having two incomes is important for my family. Tim was laid off for most of 2009 and 2010, so we have a bit of catching up to do. I still feel guilty though.
This is the last year before Charla enters kindergarten. I'm excited for this milestone but terrified at the same time. Once this year is over there can be no more denying that my baby is a child. I'm sure most of my worries are the garden variety; peers, homework, scheduling. This is nothing I won't be able to handle (until perhaps the teen years, I'll get back to you on that).
Having a child has been both exactly what I thought it would be like and nothing like I thought it would be like. I knew there would be challenges and hard times but I didn't realize how such small stuff had the ability to wind me up. I knew I would love my child but I had no idea the amount of fierce protection I would feel for her. I knew it was my job to help her grow but I had no way of knowing how fast these years would go.
I try to absorb all the good moments as much as possible. On a day to day basis this can be quite tricky. Especially after putting in all that time at work and having another 10 hours to look forward to on Friday. When I get home I'm tired and what I really would like is to sit down and do nothing. However, I know these years don't last forever. The years of "mom, will you play with me?", "mom, push me in the swing", "mom, can you read me a story?", mom, I want to cuddle", "mom, you're my best friend".
Tomorrow I have a day off. Of course I have the plans to vacuum the living room, go to the grocery store, and finally take care of the dishes piling up in the sink. But in between all that I'm going to spend time making some memories with my girl.